Saturday, June 13, 2009

Guess who's back?

* Stares at the screen. Draws a blank *

Its been a while since my last post and i'm seriously out of it. I guess i'll keep things simple this time till i get a sort of rhythm going. (I doubt if that is going to happen. Judging by my past record, expect another post only on march, 2011.)

I had my annual appraisal review yesterday at work. I was called in at about 4 p.m. I sat down opposite the HR person.

HR person: So, Vinod, hmmm...?
Vinod: * swallows hard. The hmmm doesn't sound good at all. * Yes ma'am.
HR: *Looks up. Smiles* ( Like that was gonna help) . So, Vinod, How was it working for our company?
Vinod's mind: Did she just say "was"? Why did she just say "was"? Naah, she couldn't have.
Vinod: Ma'am. It was good.
HR: Good? I see. * starts making notes in a little pad on the table.* What have you learnt working with us?
Vinod's mind: That the HR and admin people in this company suck. That nobody at work will ever get your jokes. That whenever the trainees come to the regional office they turn off the air conditioning. That no matter who you complain to, that your coffee will always be served cold.
Vinod: * clears his throat softly* In the last one year, I've learnt that work is nothing like how you imagine it when you are still in college. Its a hard life but thoroughly enjoyable if you like what you do. There is a healthy competition blah blah blah.... * Finishes talking and waits for the HR person to respond. She nods. Frowns a little and takes down some notes. *
HR person's mind: Tra la la la la laa laaaa. I wonder who will be eliminated today on "maanaada mylaada" ( for those unfamiliar with the term, its the name of a popular show on tamil television)? Oh, he's done. What did he just say? I guess i should nod, frown a little and pretend to make notes.
HR person: So what do you think your strength is?
Vinod: Execution. I can handle all parts of execution with reasonable ease ma'am.
HR person: Interesting. Vinod, someone has written on your appraisal form that you are sincere to your work....
Vinod: Really? * smiles. Pats himself on his back. *
HR: Apparently. Thats what somebody seems to think. Do you agree?
Vinod: * on cloud nine at the moment * Yes, i do. * Very modest of me. I know *
HR: Sincere to his work, but needs to improve in execution... * smiles sadistically *
Vinod: * Falls off cloud nine * um, yeah, um.. hmmm. really? someone said that? umm...
Vinod's mind: Now what? I just told her i was good at execution and what not?
Vinod: * continues ummming and hmming* Ma'am, Its possible, but i never felt so. * shifts in his chair uncomfortably * I have always given my best, bla blah blah....
HR person's mind: I wonder if i should tell him that it actually says "sincere to his work, and is a future candidate for CEO of the company." Naaah, don't think i will. I'll pretend to take a few more notes and send him on his way.
HR person: Ok, vinod. Thank you.
Vinod: Thank you.
* gets up and leaves*

After putting everyone to sleep with that boring account, i will finish this post with a joke.

Q:What goes ha ha ha boink?

Ans: A person laughing his head off...

Ha ha ha ha ha haaa...
*Boink...*

18 comments:

Vishwanath said...

honest and sarcastic....... makes you curious about the HR mind.......if only people could speak their minds :)

Vinod Pillai said...

@ vichu
If only dude, if only.

Spica said...

Finnaly. This one gets a pass. Now aim for an A+ from me. It's not enough that you get it from Debo alone!

Karthik said...

true scene in our company man.. but i don't think the name HR sounds good for our company.. instead u can call it receptionist

Vinod Pillai said...

@ Spica
The thing is debo's rating is more important. * sticks out his tongue *
So there.

@ Karthik
I agree. 100%. But I could think of a million names to call them, but none of them are suitable for family viewership.

Spica said...

Why would you type out "sticks out tongue" when you can just do ":-P"

Weirdness, I tell you.

Spica said...

P.S: I haven't seen Debo commenting! Ha.

Roshan George said...

Ha ha ha ... *boink* That joke was hilarious.

Is this post a way to get yourself into the newspaper under the headline, "Engineer fired after making fun of HR manager on his blog"? Google your name and the name of this website for kicks.

Also, Chitra did not tell me about your blog.

Hari said...

Debo gave you an A+ :-o
You rock dude! Who cares about Spica anyway :P

Vinod Pillai said...

@ hari:
What the hell is wrong with you man? You want to get me killed?

n9986 said...

/me coughs and stares at this shiny new relic among all the dusty posts... O_O

n9986 said...

also I guess I should restart my blog now that people are here. the link to my blog on your page is dead :(

thanks for adding though ;)

/me goes and gets site up again

Spica said...

@ Double junior: Doood. Even if I'm not present, I can still have to ragged and stuff. I have contacts. *tries to look menancing*

@ Vinod: He does want to dead. Remember his evil plan?
Btw, why won't you reply to any of our commenets? Why only Hari??

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Anonymous said...

It is an amusing piece

Anonymous said...

And where at you logic?

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