Saturday, June 13, 2009

Guess who's back?

* Stares at the screen. Draws a blank *

Its been a while since my last post and i'm seriously out of it. I guess i'll keep things simple this time till i get a sort of rhythm going. (I doubt if that is going to happen. Judging by my past record, expect another post only on march, 2011.)

I had my annual appraisal review yesterday at work. I was called in at about 4 p.m. I sat down opposite the HR person.

HR person: So, Vinod, hmmm...?
Vinod: * swallows hard. The hmmm doesn't sound good at all. * Yes ma'am.
HR: *Looks up. Smiles* ( Like that was gonna help) . So, Vinod, How was it working for our company?
Vinod's mind: Did she just say "was"? Why did she just say "was"? Naah, she couldn't have.
Vinod: Ma'am. It was good.
HR: Good? I see. * starts making notes in a little pad on the table.* What have you learnt working with us?
Vinod's mind: That the HR and admin people in this company suck. That nobody at work will ever get your jokes. That whenever the trainees come to the regional office they turn off the air conditioning. That no matter who you complain to, that your coffee will always be served cold.
Vinod: * clears his throat softly* In the last one year, I've learnt that work is nothing like how you imagine it when you are still in college. Its a hard life but thoroughly enjoyable if you like what you do. There is a healthy competition blah blah blah.... * Finishes talking and waits for the HR person to respond. She nods. Frowns a little and takes down some notes. *
HR person's mind: Tra la la la la laa laaaa. I wonder who will be eliminated today on "maanaada mylaada" ( for those unfamiliar with the term, its the name of a popular show on tamil television)? Oh, he's done. What did he just say? I guess i should nod, frown a little and pretend to make notes.
HR person: So what do you think your strength is?
Vinod: Execution. I can handle all parts of execution with reasonable ease ma'am.
HR person: Interesting. Vinod, someone has written on your appraisal form that you are sincere to your work....
Vinod: Really? * smiles. Pats himself on his back. *
HR: Apparently. Thats what somebody seems to think. Do you agree?
Vinod: * on cloud nine at the moment * Yes, i do. * Very modest of me. I know *
HR: Sincere to his work, but needs to improve in execution... * smiles sadistically *
Vinod: * Falls off cloud nine * um, yeah, um.. hmmm. really? someone said that? umm...
Vinod's mind: Now what? I just told her i was good at execution and what not?
Vinod: * continues ummming and hmming* Ma'am, Its possible, but i never felt so. * shifts in his chair uncomfortably * I have always given my best, bla blah blah....
HR person's mind: I wonder if i should tell him that it actually says "sincere to his work, and is a future candidate for CEO of the company." Naaah, don't think i will. I'll pretend to take a few more notes and send him on his way.
HR person: Ok, vinod. Thank you.
Vinod: Thank you.
* gets up and leaves*

After putting everyone to sleep with that boring account, i will finish this post with a joke.

Q:What goes ha ha ha boink?

Ans: A person laughing his head off...

Ha ha ha ha ha haaa...

Sunday, November 02, 2008

The week that wasn't...

223. Thats the number of times i've yawned today.
Yaaaaaaaaaaaawwwnnnnn!!!! Make that 224.
Alright, I admit it. I only posted this because I promised someone i'd add a new post to my blog today.

What a week! By far one of the most boring weeks i've had in a long long time. Anyway there's always next week. * touches wood *

* Angry and bored mob chases him with heavy blunt objects. They warn him to end this post or else............. *

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

One Man Wrecking Machine

This was fun, if not true. Really.
I was tagged by a friend and I had to answer these questions. Only instead of me my playlist does the answering.
Read on.....

If someone says “is this okay?” You say?

rock around the clock- bill haley

[Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh (All Pumped up.)]

What would best describe your personality?

Hot for teacher - van halen

[No no. I swear I was just getting changed. :)]

What do you like in a guy/girl?

i believe i can fly- r kelly

[yeah... Like that makes sense]

How do you feel today?

axle f- crazy frog

[Close enough]

What is your life’s purpose?

kill the king- megadeth

[ so dont tell anyone]

What is your motto?

i live here- thermal and a quarter

[i have to remind myself everyday]

What do your friends think of you?

mean street- van halen

[I'm sure]

What do you think of your parents?

how is your life your today?- porcupine tree

[help me decipher this]

What do you think about very often?

Mike Portnoy's Drum solo- Dream theatre

[ No wonder i did my paper badly]

What is 2+2?

nine cats- porcupine tree

[My math isn't great but last i heard the answer was 5]

What do you think of your best friend?

Morya re- Don

[Don't ask me]

What do you think of the person you like?

Khajuraho- Unknown artist

[what? no i swear those sculptures are the last thing on my mind]

What is your life story?

lonely- akon

[Is it giving me advice or something. ]

What do you want to be when you grow up?

like a stone- audioslave

[ yes, my life ambition is to sit still all day and do as little as possible]

What do you think when you see the person you like?

Tere bin nahin lagda- PIR feat. Ustad Nusrat fateh ali khan

[ Maybe in english. And no. Not exactly]

What do your parents think of you?

shadows of a bright moonlight- vishnu

[* Pats self on the back *]

What will you dance to at your wedding?

ghostbusters theme- ghostbusters OST.

[ Thats right. Who you gonna call?]

What will they play at your funeral?

here is gone- goo goo dolls

[ Good choice]

What is your hobby/interest?

there and back again- daughtry

[Its what i do all day. Pace up and down my room. Never thought of it as a hobby though]

What is your biggest secret?

cocaine- eric clapton

[ahhh. Busted]

What do you think of your friends?

ghost- micheal jackson

[ Yeah, some of them may as well be]

What should you post this as?

One man wrecking machine- Guster

[ Thats me alright. HOO HAA]

Now you try.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

You can't teach an old dog new tricks?

I recently introduced my father to blogging. After I gave him instructions on how to get started, I went on to give him advice like some sort of seasoned blogger. Like he needed any. Like I'm someone to look to for advice. All I've managed till now is 2 posts, 3 if you include this one.

I've always been the authority in my house when it came to the computer, up until I left for college i.e. I was allowed to fix any problems that the old man caused. Still my computer time remained limited ( though not unfairly, those being my board exam years and all that jazz).

I always ask him why he keeps asking me the same doubts over and over again. " I'm getting old. Its harder to learn as you get older" , he always says. Rather, in my opinion, as you get older, you get lazier and need to be told how a particular thing works. What he doesn't realise is that after a few tries, and overcoming the initial fear of messing things up, he seems to do just fine.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I went to meet the Dalai Lama

Thats right. I went to meet the Dalai Lama at Dharamshala. But the poor chap was busy, what with Nancy Pelosi ( spokesperson of the congress or something like that) visiting at the same time. Its his loss anyway. So instead I climbed to the top of Triund. I have only one word to describe the experience.... WOW

You have a look and decide.

I will be going back there soon. DL is upset we couldn't meet.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

What's wrong with Chennai?

I was going through my friends blog and was surprised to find the no. of people who detested the name chennai. I feel that all those people have lost their marbles and that they should be happy that atleaast our govt. didn't come up with a name like bengalooru. Is it just me or does that name remind you of toilets.

Lets also take a minute to count the no. of syllables in bengalooru. That's two more than chennai. Chennai is also a whole lot easier to pronounce than Madras as it has more vowel sounds. Try saying it and see.

Other hilarious name changes:
1.gulbarga to kalburki.
2.belgaum to belgavi
3.calcutta to kolkota( proving what i,ve always said.. That bongs cannot pronounce the letter "a" esp. when it comes between two consonants(correct the spelling))
4.Mysore to mysooru
5.Trivandrum to Thiruvananthapuram( i'm not even sure that i've spelt that right which i feel was the secret intention of the kerala govt.)
These among other name changes makes me feel chennai is by far the best name change.( mumbai sounds ok though)
I am definitely against the pro Madras and Anti Chennai movement.